Sick

Taking care of sick kids is one of the things I am most passionate about however I am very selfish in that I want those sick children to be any child but mine.  Unfortunately today, that was not the case. I got the call this morning that while I spent the night caring for 2 other children, my little girl spent the night in the bathroom vomiting at her Nana and papa's house.  Finally at 7:00 this morning she didn't have anything left and was just producing clear flym.  I felt so guilty like I was cheating on her.  I know logically I shouldn't but I do.  Now the 2 kids last night were technically more acute than her but as a mother I don't care.  There is a fine line between being a nurse and a mom and maybe that is why I love my job so much because I truly love being a mom. But I felt like though my two patients last night needed me to care for them, Albree will always be my first priority.  Her nana did an amazing job with her but I was supposed to be the one there with her.  I know that at some point it crossed her mine that she wanted her mommy and I wasn't there and that kills me.  I did however jump into action this morning and work on a care plan to get her better which involved a prescription for some Zofran.  One of the perks of my job is that I work with some great doctors that offer their pharmaceutical remedies to our little ones so with script in hand I was headed to Walgreens.
As I was headed into my inlaws, I could hear her sweet little voice saying Momma. My sweet girl was curled up in bed looking pitiful.  You could tell she had a long night.  She got her first dose of the antiemetic and was tucked backed in bed. I crouched down next to the bed and laid my head next to hers and then that amazing little girl started to stroke my cheek. After she spent the night over a toilet bowl she was trying to comfort me.  She really is the most loving and nurturing person I have ever met.  I truly am doing her a great injustice by keeping her as an only child because her sibling(s) would be loved and cared for beyond belief. I then had to deal with the fact that I was going to have to leave her to go let our big baby at home out and give him his breakfast. Luckily my amazing father in law volunteered to go so that I could stay exactly where I needed to be.  We spent the next couple hours snuggled in bed at which time she got up and vomitted once more while I was sleeping right next to her. A lot of help I was:( I woke up at 1:30 with her wide awake next to me saying that she was trying to be real quiet so that she didn't wake me up. Once again her selflessness is remarkable. Luckily the vomitting stopped but unfortunately led to diarrhea. The poor thing went through 4 sets of panties because she was having trouble making it to the commode in time.  I even walked in on her one time sitting on the toilet, bent over trying to clean up some of her diarrhea off the floor with a wipey. I immediately got teary eyed at the site and told her mommy would of cleaned that up and she responded that she wanted to be a big girl.  AMAZING. I am really not trying to gloat on how great my daughter is but it is moments like this that define life for me.  To see her in a situation where she should be grumpy and down right miserable yet that sunshine she emits can not be extinguished.  I get so excited thinking about watching her grow because I know the end result is going to be a truly kind hearted, unique, amazing individual.
As for now, baby girl is curled up next to her daddy in our bed (because she asked me if she could sleep with us tonight followed by the comment "You want me to get better, don't you?") Luckily the diarrhea and vomitting has stopped and she is just keeping a low grade temp of 100.7. She hasn't eaten much but has been drinking her blue Gatorade.  Hopefully we only have 2 hours left out of a 24 hour bug and she will be back to her old self in the am.  Guess I'm going to go snuggle up next to her because like she said I do want her to get better and there is no better remedy than a good snuggle