Microbiology Lesson for the day

To all parents and future parents, heed my warning.  There is about a 75% chance that any illness your little munchkin catches, you will end up with.  Last night, we went out for family night to Buffalo Wild Wings and then to the movies to see Cars 2 (Taylor and Albree's choice). At dinner I really didn't have an appetite and I started feeling kind of queasy.  I then remain nauseated throughout the movie, and then ended it at home nauseated and feeling febrile with chills tucked under my blankets with a blue cleaning bucket next to me in the event that my nausea progressed.  Luckily, the bucket was never used, but I now get to go to the endodontist in about 2 hours for a root canal revision.  Yay because the first time wasn't fun enough that I want to do it all over again.  On a good note, my sweet lovie just walked in with a breakfast she made all by herself for me.  On one side I'm ecstatic at the lovely gift, but on the other I'm crying inside at the thought that my baby just made me breakfast in bed completely unassisted (as a safety note none of the items required cooking).   Wow, really starting to feel like life is speeding up and I want it to slooooooowwww down.  I'm not ready for her to be this grown up yet but it looks like I have no choice but to embrace it.  Well I'm off to enjoy my yummy breakfast.

Sick

Taking care of sick kids is one of the things I am most passionate about however I am very selfish in that I want those sick children to be any child but mine.  Unfortunately today, that was not the case. I got the call this morning that while I spent the night caring for 2 other children, my little girl spent the night in the bathroom vomiting at her Nana and papa's house.  Finally at 7:00 this morning she didn't have anything left and was just producing clear flym.  I felt so guilty like I was cheating on her.  I know logically I shouldn't but I do.  Now the 2 kids last night were technically more acute than her but as a mother I don't care.  There is a fine line between being a nurse and a mom and maybe that is why I love my job so much because I truly love being a mom. But I felt like though my two patients last night needed me to care for them, Albree will always be my first priority.  Her nana did an amazing job with her but I was supposed to be the one there with her.  I know that at some point it crossed her mine that she wanted her mommy and I wasn't there and that kills me.  I did however jump into action this morning and work on a care plan to get her better which involved a prescription for some Zofran.  One of the perks of my job is that I work with some great doctors that offer their pharmaceutical remedies to our little ones so with script in hand I was headed to Walgreens.
As I was headed into my inlaws, I could hear her sweet little voice saying Momma. My sweet girl was curled up in bed looking pitiful.  You could tell she had a long night.  She got her first dose of the antiemetic and was tucked backed in bed. I crouched down next to the bed and laid my head next to hers and then that amazing little girl started to stroke my cheek. After she spent the night over a toilet bowl she was trying to comfort me.  She really is the most loving and nurturing person I have ever met.  I truly am doing her a great injustice by keeping her as an only child because her sibling(s) would be loved and cared for beyond belief. I then had to deal with the fact that I was going to have to leave her to go let our big baby at home out and give him his breakfast. Luckily my amazing father in law volunteered to go so that I could stay exactly where I needed to be.  We spent the next couple hours snuggled in bed at which time she got up and vomitted once more while I was sleeping right next to her. A lot of help I was:( I woke up at 1:30 with her wide awake next to me saying that she was trying to be real quiet so that she didn't wake me up. Once again her selflessness is remarkable. Luckily the vomitting stopped but unfortunately led to diarrhea. The poor thing went through 4 sets of panties because she was having trouble making it to the commode in time.  I even walked in on her one time sitting on the toilet, bent over trying to clean up some of her diarrhea off the floor with a wipey. I immediately got teary eyed at the site and told her mommy would of cleaned that up and she responded that she wanted to be a big girl.  AMAZING. I am really not trying to gloat on how great my daughter is but it is moments like this that define life for me.  To see her in a situation where she should be grumpy and down right miserable yet that sunshine she emits can not be extinguished.  I get so excited thinking about watching her grow because I know the end result is going to be a truly kind hearted, unique, amazing individual.
As for now, baby girl is curled up next to her daddy in our bed (because she asked me if she could sleep with us tonight followed by the comment "You want me to get better, don't you?") Luckily the diarrhea and vomitting has stopped and she is just keeping a low grade temp of 100.7. She hasn't eaten much but has been drinking her blue Gatorade.  Hopefully we only have 2 hours left out of a 24 hour bug and she will be back to her old self in the am.  Guess I'm going to go snuggle up next to her because like she said I do want her to get better and there is no better remedy than a good snuggle

Sore Loser

I played Bunko tonight and confirmed the fact that I HATE to lose. I don't cry or throw things or get all moody but I really DO NOT enjoy it. Guess it is my competitive side coming out. But then I came home and realized that I have the greatest gift of all.  Albree Lyn greeted me at the door with the invitation of a back massage. SCORE!!! My sweet lovey rubbed my shoulders and then we curled up on the couch under my favorite blue blanket and watched the rest of Despicable Me. It was perfect. She was half way laying on my chest and sandwiched between me and the couch and that is how she slipped off to sleep. I love and cherish these moments.   I showered her head with kisses before I finally decided that for the sake of the circulation in my left arm I should take her to her bed.  I tucked her in which is probably not a routine I had at this age.  I'm so very thankful that by the grace of God I have arrived at this place in my life. The cycle of neglect and disappointment will not continue with me.  I know I'm not going to be the perfect parent or nowhere close but I do feel confident that my child will have a better childhood than I did and she will NEVER have her mother leave her.  Didn't mean to get quite so deep but this blogging is proving to be very therapeutic!

Truly Blessed but yet sometimes I forget

This morning when I arrived at my in-laws from a rather challenging evening, I was greeted by God's greatest gift to me. My little brown eye beauty met me at the door with hugs, kisses and multiple terms of endearment.  When I sunk into their chair and a half and began to relay to my fil the events of the evening my sweet lovey got up off her papa's lap, came over and covered me with a blanket and told me she would take care of me. I have to admit I almost took her up on it because that little girl is an amazing caregiver but I just told her all I needed was her snuggling and I would be good to go.  Up until this point everything sounds wonderful and bradybunch like, but unfortunately from this point on my sleepiness lead to me being short with my sweet girl. It started with brushing teeth.  Every time I tell her it's time to brush her teeth, she asks me to go into the bathroom with her so that she won't be scared however, my laziness has been ruling out over my mothering skills.  I just don't have the umph to get out of the big comfy chair so I just sit there and tell her that she is a big girl and that she needs to go brush her teeth. Why do I do this? I know in the back of my mind that these moments are going to be gone before I know it and there will come a time when I yearn for her to want me around yet I stay planted in my chair and off she goes sad and let down.  1st failure of the day and its only 7:48. Next comes getting her hair into a bun for princess camp. This is NEVER a fun thing and always ends up with both of us in bad moods. 2nd failure at 7:52. We then leave so we can go to Academy for new ballet shoes before camp. I call her daddy on the way there and did my biggest failure of the day. Since both of us were still in sour moods because of the hair bun issue I said to her dad that we were on our way to princess camp so that Albree could learn to be nice. I then carried on with my conversation for another minute and went to hand the phone to Albree and saw that the angel I was suppose to protect was crying.  3rd Failure at 8:02. My thoughtless words had really hurt her feelings. She wasn't throwing a fit but quietly crying because I had done real damage. I quickly tried to do damage control and explain to her that I was just kidding and I really didn't feel that way. And of course her being the sweet girl she is totally and whole heartedly accepted my apology without an ounce of hesitation. I guess that is the true beauty of a child. All they want is our love and they hold no grudges. This morning made me really think about the fact that I really am blessed. Not only do I get to be a mother, but I get to be a mother to a truly good hearted, wonderful person.  All she wants is my attention and this morning made me realize it is time to put the iphone down and turn the computer off and start making some real memories with my baby girl who will not be a baby much longer.

Getting Started

So my dear friend Danielle has inticed me to start blogging so here it goes!